


lonely thoughts (jeremy heere/reader/michael mell)

by laughaholic



Series: bmc x reader one-shots :) [3]
Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: And anxiety, F/M, Gen, M/M, and depression, awww, jeremy is so sweet awww, mention of self harm, michael is a strong tough boy that wants to protect you, so just be careful and aware, your boyfriends are so cute
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-29 16:58:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12089361
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/laughaholic/pseuds/laughaholic
Summary: Y/N is suffering from depression and finds themselves extremely unhappy and sad and ends up having to tell the boyfriends about it.(GENDER NEUTRAL READER)( TRIGGER WARNING : MENTION OF SELF HARM, DEPRESSION AND ANXIETY )





	lonely thoughts (jeremy heere/reader/michael mell)

**You're such a fuck up.**

You sighed as the thought crossed your mind while walking to your locker. The thoughts were so common now because of how much you messed up. It was your own fault. And that was almost as disappointing as failing another test.

**You're never gonna get anywhere in life.**

**You'll never be anything else.**

**You're such a failure.**

**You're useless.**

You were empty. The poisonous venom of each thought not even phasing you anymore because of how common they were. You believed each thought and it got worse each day. You just wanted to scream and cry and feel something, so maybe someone could ask you if you were okay, really okay. And you'd be forced to finally tell someone how you've been feeling. But you couldn't.

No one would ask.

You were alone.

It wasn't until you got to your locker that you noticed people with their school bags and jackets. You realized the day was over. The pure bliss of such a thought didn't even strike an emotion inside your body. Neither did the thought that it was Friday. Everything was just so numb, that you couldn't feel anything for anything anymore.

Because in the end, your weekend will involve you doing another assignment, another project, another science lab, another essay. And time, it will end with you making a mistake or messing up. And you will feel as crappy as you do, over again. It's an endless cycle.

You felt a hand on your shoulder as you grabbed your school bag, you turned and saw one of your boyfriends Jeremy, he smiled his sheepish grin at you "Hey Y/N, you ready to head to my house?"

You gave him the most realistic smile you could muster at your current state "Yeah" 

He could tell that something was wrong, but Jeremy being Jeremy, he didn't mention it.

He held your hand as you walked out of the school to find Michael.

When you spotted him he was talking to Rich beside his PT Cruiser.

"Michael!" Called Jeremy as he walked faster over to the other boyfriend.

Michael smiled when he saw you two.

Rich smiled too "I'll see you later Michael, have fun ;)) " he said as he walked away.

Michael rolled his eyes at his comment. And hugged the two of you planting little kisses for both.

Jeremy tried not to giggle while he were smiling the widest you had in awhile,  it not wide enough to make a difference. 

**This Happiness is short term...**

You frowned a bit.

**They'll leave you.**

You shook the thought from your mind when you realized Michael was talking to you.

"What?" You asked 

"I asked how was your day?"

"Oh um... it was fine" you replied

"Okay cool" Michael gave a look to Jeremy, they seemed to both suspect something. You really didn't want to be confronted by your boyfriends.

"Let's get going" said Jeremy

You both nodded and got into the car, and headed to Jeremy's house.

Once you got there you all decided to procrastinate on homework by playing some Mario Kart. As you played you felt Anxiety come over you. You couldn't stop thinking about homework, you just wanted to not have to do it. You wanted it over. You wanted everything over. Homework always took so much time. And you we're always just dissapointed with the results when you tried what you could.

You sighed as you continued playing. You weren't even tuned into your surroundings. You were on auto-pilot, letting your mind swarm with hateful thoughts as your body continued on instinct. It wasn't until you heard your boyfriends yell that you tuned back in. Michael was calling bullshit on how Jeremy won the game. You realized you had gotten last out of all three of you. Even at video games you were unsuccessful.

"Y/N"

You turned to see Jeremy beside you "Is something wrong?"

It took a few moments before you said "I'm fine"

"No" said Michael, aggressively "You're not fine Y/N. What's wrong?"

You held your breath, you've never heard Michael speak so aggressively toward you. You knew he didn't mean it but it made you a bit nervous.

"Y/N you've been acting different for the past two weeks. Please tell us if something is wrong" asked Jeremy, putting his hand on your shoulder "We want to help"

"But you can't!" You exclaimed as you smacked his hand away, making both boys jump "You can't help me! You can't help someone who wants to be better. Someone who wants to stop feeling lonely. Someone who wants comfort. Someone who wants love because they feel so sad all the time. Someone who wishes everything would end. Someone who wishes someone understood. You just can't!"

Everything was silent for a few moments.

"I'm sorry you guys ever met me. You don't need me ruining your life. I'm sorry" You said as you rushed out to the room and headed to the door.

As you opened the door you felt a hand on your wrist. You gasped lightly at the pain of the grip. You turned and saw Michael, who immediately moved his hand away from your wrist, tears brimming on his eyes.

You both looked at each other silently as Jeremy quietly walked to where you two were.

Michael looked at your wrist then at you as he began to lift the sleeve. You looked down, ashamed. You could still see your two boyfriends as they saw your scarred wrists.

Michael let a small cry escape him, tears fell down his cheeks. Jeremy stared in utter devasted silence as tears fell from his eyes but his face emotionless.

"I'm sorry" you whispered, your voice cracking "For ruining your li-"

"Y/N" interrupted Jeremy "You are the one good thing that's ever happened to me and Michael"

You sobbed once he said it. The two boys hugged you and you finally felt the comfort you needed. You felt important.

The boys showed you with kisses and hugs all night. You've never felt better. And they even continued day after day. The boys helped you fight the darkness. And you couldn't be more thankful.

 


End file.
